Love that never was

I was by birth a romantic boy. I loved girls and more so cared for them. I was innocent and pure and cute(that I still am just not innocent :-( ). I loved sincerely. She was in my class. We used to sit together. We used to play pranks on each other.....errrrr wait! That was me only who wanted to sit with her and try to find reasons to talk to her. Sometimes commenting on things when I was sure of getting back a reply. She was shy actually just like me. Yes! I was shy and I am still,  a bit though. Was it love? I'm not sure. Maybe just a feeling of togetherness. I liked her company. I used to help her with her work. We joked with each other.
There was this teacher who was good to me before I met this girl and somehow I think he began hating me. I don't know why. Did she said something to him about me. I did bring a flower one day in the school and he beat me up. That was when the rebellion in me was born. I misbehaved with people a lot later. Oh yes about that girl. She passed out from my school but we did meet some months later when I went to teach her younger sister and boy what was that feeling! I really can't express it in words. I was trembling literally. Those were the days when I was truly, madly,  deeply, insanely, energetically and romantically in love with her. I could have done anything for her at that time. She used to bring tea for me and her mother used to tease me when she wasn't around. I guess that was the best of love-time(if I can call it) I ever had. At that time, I thought life is so beautiful. Everything looked so promising. I even began to befriend my enemies. How beautiful life is when you are in love. I was studying, I was teaching and I was in love. I don't think I would've wanted anything else at that time except for the time that I used to spend with her. She used to come and sit with me where I taught and find reasons to talk to me.
Who will believe me now if I say she wasn't interested in me?

Things took an ugly turn and she began to dislike me. I have absolutely no clue why. What will you do when your love starts to ignore you  or refuse to meet you? Stalk did anyone say? That I did. I stalked her. I found out about her coaching somehow. I used to just go there, wait for her to come out of coaching and just have a look at her. I spend a lot of days just watching her. I even passed by her at times but couldn't gather courage to speak to her. I took help of a student-volunteer and presented her with a rose on Valentine's. She refused but my commander was adamant and she just accepted it. A few days later I proposed her. I asked her if she loves me too and she simply denied. I don't know if she was under family pressure or was there anything else but I know that my dreams were shattered. I cried on my way back home. I just couldn't do anything properly. I was devastated. I used to go to a secluded place and just sit lonely. I never had any friend I could call my best friend so I took all the pain inside. I never cried again for her. That had a huge impact on my life later on.

That is in short the story of my first love. How I fell in love, spend good time with my love and came back as a loner. I did fall in love again but that is for another post.

A new journey

I recently opened a coaching to provide education and impart knowledge to students. One of my aims was to make students understand what they study. However, it seems as if people are not interested. Neither the students nor their parents. It's considered a fashion these days to join a coaching. Boys as usual are there to find girls except a few who really are interested. Tough task I must say to run a coaching. Right from convincing parents about the quality of education offered to mere maintaining a decent atmosphere.
So many things have to be taken care of. I am single-handedly trying my best to keep my boat afloat for some time. It sure takes time for any institution to gather momentum but once it does it brings a smile on your face. I haven't seen many summers but yes I have learned a lot about people in general since the inception of my coaching i.e. month of may this year. I didn't break when promises were broken. I didn't break even when people left me midway. It is the faith in me that keeps me going. Truly said that life is not hunky-dory when you start on a journey. There are numerous ups and downs. There are people pulling you down. People back-bitching about you. I preferred to ignore.
I just took a route that is away from the league. Things that people just don't think of as a career. Call it helplessness or lack of opportunity if you must but it wasn't imposed. It was something I took pleasure in. Sure I wasn't prepared to do something fancy but then I wasn't doing it unwillingly either. That is what mattered. I realize now how important it is to build a reputation. When you are out there to sell something, it is your reputation that comes to your rescue. A good reputation helps you realize your dreams easily. I have faltered at times and that has taken a toll on my image. Nonetheless, I'm trying to work out things in my own way now. A man keeps on learning throughout his life. Those who learn early are the ones who excel in their aims far better than others..